


Domestic Assholes

by CasualCazz



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Broken Bones, Fluff, M/M, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Underfell Papyrus, Underswap Papyrus, papcest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualCazz/pseuds/CasualCazz
Summary: Edge comes to visit Blueberry, but is a little peeved to find his good for nothing brother at home. What's even worse is that there are socks everywhere, laundry not cleaned, dishes not washed, and that lazy skeleton is just sitting there sucking on a candy. Does Edge have to do everything around here?





	Domestic Assholes

**Author's Note:**

> [What is fluff? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more. ](http://www.casualbones.tumblr.com)

The two skeletons glare at each other, rage fuming. Well, it’s more like Edge pointing daggers at Stretch while the orange skeleton nonchalantly sucks his lollipop on the couch, acting completely neutral, but Edge knows him well enough to see that he’s just as annoyed as he is. Edge crosses his arms, taps his foot and coughs, expecting Stretch’s attention. 

 

“WHAT ARE  _ YOU _ DOING HERE?!” the fell monster growls. 

 

Stretch pulls out his loli with a pop, “I live here. I can ask the same thing for you.”

 

Edge rolls his eyes, “BLUE INVITED ME OVER! HE DIDN’T SAY THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE HOME!” 

 

Stretch clicks his tongue, “Awh, sad that you won’t be able to masturbate in my bed?”

 

Edge gasps and throws his hands up in disgust, “MUST YOU ALWAYS BE THIS VULGAR?!” 

 

Th swap monster only shrugged, going back to sucking on his candy. Edge looks around, cringing at the thrown socks littering a 5 feet radius around the couch, the mountains of dirty dishes in the sink, and the pile of laundry with stink marks laying next to the laundry room. After being friends for a long time, Edge knows that Blue would never leave his house with it in this condition, so there was only person could could be responsible for this mess, and that piece of trash is eating candy. 

 

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN LIVE LIKE THIS! IT’S DISGUSTING!” 

 

“If you don’t like it, leave,” Stretch shrugs and pulls out his phone, scrolling through Reddit. 

 

Infuriated by being brushed off like that, Edge clenches his fists, holding himself back from beating the other skeleton to a pulp. Despite his feelings, he is still a guest here, and it’ll go against his pride to be a dishonorable one. Bored out of his mind, and his bones crawling from the mess, Edge bends over, and picks up the socks. 

 

Stretch raises a bonebrow, humored by having the prideful monster on his knees in front of him, “What are you doing?” 

 

“I’M CLEANING UP, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?! BLUE WILL BE UPSET TO COME HOME LIKE THIS, THEN YOU’LL FEEL BAD FOR MAKING BLUE ANGRY!” Edge recoils at a crusty sock, but at least he’s wearing gloves. 

 

The lazy skeleton smirks, “Awh, you care about my feelings,” 

 

Realizing what he just said, Edge blushes furiously and throws a sock at the other’s face, “I DON’T. I JUST DON’T WANT TO PUT UP WITH YOU POUTING! IT’S UNDIGNIFIED.” 

Edge huffs and finishes up clearing the living room area, then moves to the pile of dirty laundry. Unsurprisingly, all the clothes were either orange hooded or white tank tops, all stained with honey. Edge glares at Stretch, who only continued to scroll through his phone. Worthless trash. Despite it being dirty, Edge is glad that it doesn’t reek like the socks, and is actually somewhat pleasant. Musky and familiar. He mentally slaps himself for being so distracted and gets back to work. He finishes up the laundry then head to the kitchen to scrub the dishes til they are clean. When Edge passes by the living room again, Stretch was gone, and he just figured that he went to his room or something, leaving a complete stranger to do all the housework. That lazy asshole. Taking off his gloves, and slipping into the cleaning rubber ones, Edge hums a tune as he scrubs the grime off the plates, dropping his tense shoulders. Suddenly a loud, vacuum startles him, and Edge spins around, readying an attack, bubble suds dripping from his gloves. He glares at Stretch who just waved and pushed around the vacuum. 

 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Edge demands to know. 

 

“Cleaning,” Stretch replies nonchalantly. 

 

“SINCE WHEN DO YOU DO CHORES?!” 

 

The orange skeleton merely shrugs, “Since you looked like you needed help. I can’t let you have all the fun, heh.” 

 

“PUT THAT DAMN THING BACK WHERE IT BELONGS. YOU’RE ONLY GOING TO MAKE A BIGGER MESS. I DOUBT THAT YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE THAT!” Edge huffs in frustration. 

 

Stretch frowns, his bone brows furrowing, “Hey, it’s my house and I just thought I’d help out. No need to be an asshole about it.” 

 

Edge bites his tongue in guilt, and looks away, returning to his dishes, “DO WHAT YOU WISH.” 

 

From behind him, Edge hears Stretch resuming, but he doesn’t say anything else. The two skeleton continue on in silence, and Edge shifts uncomfortably. This is the first time he’s ever felt awkward with the other, his bones crawling as he could feel Stretch’s eyes on him. He finishes quickly and tosses the dishes in the dishwasher to dry, then glances at the large, clean pot beside him. There’s no more room in the dishwasher, so he pats it dry and looks around, wondering where he should put it. From the living room, Stretch is still vacuuming. Not feeling like talking to him, Edge spots a slightly open pantry, with other equally large pots. He raises a brow at the height, seeing everything on the top shelf when Blue is so small. Either way, Edge just shrugs and pulls over a nearby stool. Even on his tippy toes, he has to reach to store the pot on the top, leaning forward and forward, not noticing the stool leaning with him. Finally, he manages to slide it in, but with his weight, the stool flips over, and Edge come crashing down. Before he could move out of the way, the mass of pots fall on him, the heaviest one landing on his right leg, cracking his bones. Edge shrieks and reflexively  bends his knee, shooting more pain through him. Even after he moves the pot, a heavy weight sits on his leg and he reaches to inspect it. 

 

“Edge?!” Stretch rushes to his side, ignoring the mess and looks at his broken leg, “Holy shit.” 

 

“I’LL BE FINE! THIS IS NOTHING!” Edge grunts to protect his pride. 

 

“That does not look like nothing. It looks like it’s going to break off,” 

 

“I’VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE!” it’s true, but Edge wants to throw up, “JUST GIVE ME A CRUTCH AND I’LL GO HOME TO TAKE CARE OF THIS!” 

 

Stretch shakes his head in disbelief, “Are you kidding me? I’m not letting you go home like this. Lucky for you I’ve treated Blue’s injuries plenty of times. I can treat yours.” 

 

“DON’T TOUCH ME! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! I AM THE-”

 

“Great and Terrible Papyrus I know, “ the orange skeleton interrupts and picks him up princess style, careful to not injure his leg even more, “Put away your pride for one moment and let me help me. Unless you want to live as an amputee from now on.” 

 

Edge sighs, knowing that he’s right. Pleased, Stretch carries him to his room and lays him down gently on the bed. While the other skeleton fetches the medical supplies, Edge takes a moment to look around the room, realizing that he’s never been in here before. Everything is surprisingly neat and orderly, at most a little dusty. His desk was empty besides some paper and pens, the walls bare, and not a single sock on the floor. Edge looks at Stretch confused. 

 

“What? Did you expect me to live in a pigsty?” 

 

_ Yes _ , Edge thought to himself. 

 

The orange skeleton pulls over a chair and lays down some bandages and a splinter. Before he gets started, Stretch pulls his hoodie over his head, revealing his naked torso and hands it to Edge. He looks at him bewildered, blush creeping up his cheeks as he stares at the other skeleton’s chiseled ribs. 

 

“Bite down on his, it’s going to hurt,” Stretch warns.

 

 Edge glances at it dubiously.

 

He rolls his eyes, “It’s clean don’t worry.” 

Edge gingerly puts the cloth in his mouth and Stretch positions the cracked bone correctly, applying as much pressure as he can. White hot flashes bursts in Edge’s skull, and he bites down hard on the hoodie, unaware of his own muffled screams. Stretch glances over in worry, but continues anyway to get it over with. Once the disjointed bones are set in place, he tightly wraps the cloth around the wound, securing it with a pin, then line the splinter against it, restricting Edge’s movement. Cold sweat rolls from his skull, and he’s panting hard, eyes shut closed. Stretch holds his hand for comfort, locking in their fingers. Edge relaxes shortly. With his free hand, Stretch summons a soft green glow and hovers it over the wound. Already, the fell skeleton’s bones mend and fuse together, repairing the crack. With luck, it won't even scar. 

 

“There. All done. Aren't you a brave boy,” 

 

“Don't mock me,” Edge responds tiredly. 

 

He opens one eye as Stretch pressed something against his teeth. 

 

“It’s monster candy. You’ll feel better after you eat it,” 

 

Edge slightly parts his teeth and allow the sweet to go in. The orange skeleton yawns and stretches his limbs, pushing Edge to the other side of the bed. 

 

“Boy, after that I deserve a nap,”

 

“GO NAP SOMEWHERE ELSE!” 

 

“It’s my room,” Stretch chuckles and throws his arms around the other skeleton. 

 

“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF OF ME,” Edge hisses and tries to squirm away. 

 

“Gotta make sure your stubborn ass doesn't try to walk. You have to let it set for a few hours,” Stretch murmurs, burying his face into Edge’s shoulders. 

 

“WELL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? JUST LAY HERE?!” but Stretch is already fast asleep. 

 

Edge huffs in frustration and stares at the ceiling, counting the seconds til this torment end. 

  
  


Blue comes home an hour later in a huff. He sent numerous texts to Edge that he’ll be late, but that’s no excuse to keep his guest waiting! And he completely forgot that Stretch was home too. He just hoped that they haven't killed each other yet. He bursts in the suspiciously silent house, confused by the lack of broken furniture. In fact, it was surprisingly sparkling clean, except for a pile of pots littering the kitchen. If it weren't for that, he’d believe that he’s step into the Twilight Zone. He calls out the two skeleton’s name, wondering if both of them are dead. He knocks on Stretch’s door, and when no one answers, he silently peaks him. Both Edge and Stretch lay beside each other, with Stretch’s arm thrown across the other’s chest and Edge hugging it tightly. Blue smiles and chuckles softly, and lightly closes the door. Where’s his phone, he needs to text Alphys. 

 


End file.
